Parents often encounter the challenge of boosting their children interaction and relaxed play with other children. I’m sure you’ve often heard someone say they have a shy child. But what does it really mean?
The children we think they are shy are mostly very sensitive. They are extremely aware of their environment and it has great influence on them. Some of them are introverted – meaning they feel more comfortable when they are not surrounded by other people and often need solitude, they play alone and enjoy it. Some children are so occupied with their own ideas that they have no interest in socializing with others.
And when we say that we are shy, we mostly think that we do not feel comfortable and natural in the company of other people. A large study conducted in 2015. in the United States concludes that half of the teenagers in the United States consider themselves like shy persons. Also, half of the adults think they are shy and they were shy as kids. This is a huge amount of people – on average every other person you see at work or in the city is a bit shy.
Yet, most of these people are successfully dealing with everyday challenges and social events, either at work or at leisure. We have developed self-confidence based on the experience we have and the situation that has once been problematic to us is now a pleasure.
If you are reading this, we can conclude that you are here to help your child more easily deal with social events, find new friends more easily, not be afraid to engage themselves for life, and openly talk to people. The good news is that this can be learned, everything your child needs is a bit of support. Here are some tips that will help you.
Respond to the needs of your children and notice them
Sensitive kids that were raised by very careful mothers became leaders in their groups, while their equally sensitive brothers raised from the average mothers became sensitive and full of fear. Positive parenting and actively responding to the needs of a child can greatly help him interact with other people later in life. It gives the child safety and helps him to find strength in himself to develop the social skills he needs in life.
Understand your children concerns and don’t embarrass them
Understanding and accepting your child’s feelings without condemnation helps him feel good in his own skin. If you show your child you feel that something is wrong with him, you can only encourage him to feel bad and thus encourage him to grow into an insecure person. Compassion with the child also helps to develop your feelings for others and to make it easier to connect with other people in your life.
Teach your children the basic rules of good behavior
We have to teach children basic standards of behavior in a modern society such as looking into the eyes, smiling, proper handling, and decent communication. Exercise these skills whenever you arrive home. You can also learn this through the game. For example, take two bear or dolls and practice proper communication through play and laughter. Ask your child what the doll should say or do?
Do not expect impossible
Some children will have trouble accepting new challenges, while the other children will remain demured. Respect your child the way he/she it is and don’t expect from him to know something that he or she is unable to do in a particular situation.
Help your child learn how to get friends
Show your child how to approach an unknown child in a particular situation. Learn how to play, how to answer when another child says something, how to get involved in a park or birthday game. Children who are successful in interacting with others are mostly watching the group they want to join. They find the best way to approach the group instead of just coming without thinking. Educate yourself, this can be of great help to you.
Teach your children to know what he wants and to take care for himself in society
Our children need to be self-confident in taking care of themselves when we aren’t near by. Kids need to know how to react when the other child says something like “Now is my turn … I do not like it when you say that … Do not take me a toy … I will not play with you if you say so …” This is especially important in situations where the child carries with bullying. It is very useful for a child to engage in daily activities and ask him to be in certain situations. Talk even more importantly – listen to your child.
Do not mark your child as shy
Instead of constantly telling your child how shy he/she is, try to avoid it. Give the child the knowledge to understand how he feels and tell him that he can overcome his fears. Remind him of moments when he was successfully faced with the social challenges that are his problem and define a successful pattern of behavior he followed.
Show confidence in your life
Children learn best by looking at us, their parents. Show a proper pattern of behavior with your example. This is often the best way to learn a child. Offer help to people in your life, be open to new people and generally be positive to others.
Teach your child to cope with his personality
If your child has a problem with accepting social situations and does not always feel good in large groups – that’s fine. Let him know that this is a normal process, just part of everyday life and activity. We will not always have the same interest in socializing with each other, or we will always be in the same way responding to it.
Teach them they don’t have to be always interesting to others but to show interest in others. Show him how to ask questions and listen to others while they talk.
When a child knows how to overcome their fear at a certain point, it is much easier to face the fear when that moment comes.
Allow your child to meet with other children every day
Demured children need less social interaction than their relaxed friends. But they also need an opportunity to practice their social skills. Do not be shy to share your thoughts and feelings with your child and definitely support it when you see it’s going in the right direction. Allow him to have a chance to socialize with other children in everyday life, even if you don’t really go to that birthday or in the park.
Teach your child how important a true friend is
One true friend is much more important than a large number of acquaintances, which you’ve probably seen by yourself. To make your child feel like a part of a group doesn’t necessarily means that he or she have to be a friend to everyone. Sometimes it is enough to have a relationship with one person, and the demured children often get attached to a friend who loves them.
Do not teach children to fear unknown people
One thing is to teach a child how to be safe and protected, but it is completely different to teach a child to be afraid of anyone he does not know. As long as your child is near you, or near a person of your trust, you have no reason to fear. Once a child comes to the age for going to school, adjust the strategy and teach them how to be safe and secure.
Talk about your child’s feelings
If your child is frightened and sad, he or she may have some serious emotions that they are afraid to pronounce or don’t know how. If a child experiences a stressful situation and at this point does not feel safe enough, it will suppress their feelings. Such a habit is not good for emotional prosperity, because it is very difficult for us to deal with negative feelings, and we repress them with perseverance. In this way, children are even more confined to themselves because they have no confidence in saying about their feelings. Get in touch with your child and be his safe harbor, a shoulder for cry when needed. Encourage him to open up and share his feelings with you, whatever they were. Accept them without condemnation.
By properly communicating and creating safe conditions for emotional growth and development your child will see that there is no longer any obstacle to developing their social skills. Our example is often what kids are following, so be sure to work on yourself to become a better parent. It’s easy to be a passive parent, but it’s really hard to work it out and deal with the emotions we may have been suffering from for many years. To be a good parent, we have to face them.
There is also a lot of other pieces of advice about being a good parent. We suggest you take a look at 50 easy ways to be a fantastic parent.